He lives all glory to His name.
He lives my Savior still the same.
He lives, and while he lives I'll sing
He lives, my prophet priest and King.
And I thank my Heavenly Father for that.
Jul 31, 2010
He Lives!
And I thank my Heavenly Father for that.
Jul 30, 2010
Exactly how I feel today...
Waiting for Tears
by Iris Orprecio a.k.a. Iris Orpi
http://irisisms.wordpress.com/
A man is playing a sad song
on a violin in my head
and I’m waiting for him
to get to a crescendo
so I could
get carried away
and overflow
anything
that could assist
in shaking me out
of this numbness
this unwanted
suspended state
of refusing to feel
let me cry,
please
I have time, I’m not busy
I have time, I’m young enough
don’t let me grow old
let this pain
not take root
in my impressionable soul
let me spit out
the bad seeds
I can’t smile about this
tomorrow
if I don’t cry about it
today
by Iris Orprecio a.k.a. Iris Orpi
http://irisisms.wordpress.com/
A man is playing a sad song
on a violin in my head
and I’m waiting for him
to get to a crescendo
so I could
get carried away
and overflow
anything
that could assist
in shaking me out
of this numbness
this unwanted
suspended state
of refusing to feel
let me cry,
please
I have time, I’m not busy
I have time, I’m young enough
don’t let me grow old
let this pain
not take root
in my impressionable soul
let me spit out
the bad seeds
I can’t smile about this
tomorrow
if I don’t cry about it
today
~*~
Jul 28, 2010
Empty
You'll never see this, but I want you to know
It may have
just been a moment
to you,
but it changed
every single one
that followed for me.
This Hurt
I never knew it felt this way,
[Hurt]
I thought I knew what
-broken-
meant. I was wrong.
I was wrong.
I've never known actions so careless.
Who knew the actions that would hurt the worst would be my very own.
I dwell on how things happened. How things got so messed up.
{Maybe I shouldn't}
But I do, and I can't see how someone as unique as me
could have gotten so *confused*.
So close to the destination that my dreams have so often taken me to
and I blew it.
All for something...someone
that hurt me. I was blinded by a caring heart.
Even now, they, that hurt, wouldn't save me.
They can't even save themselves.
It has always been about him...
selfish
why should I think it would be different now?
When you discover you breathe for someone else;
When you discover that your lungs were meant to carry the tune of someone else's life;
When you realize the fragility of your heart
and the rate and ease of disappointment;
When you discover you have been abandoned by the words that captivated you;
It's useless.
Don't try to convince yourself that something was there, that something positive existed.
Between two.
It was only ever about one
...for him...
I,
never alone, always loved, cared for by another,
abandoned that [safety]
for nothing but empty rain.
Rain that fell like bitter sweet comfort
and seemed like a sweet ***echo*** of my past...
my past where I had the real kind of {{love}} and comfort;
my past that I longed to make my future;
my past that held me when the world caved in and I had no strength to stand on my own;
my past that walked by my side through mistake after mistake
and never failed to express the truth that lives in love.
Present mistakes
swept me up in a few short moments,
tuning out and unconscious to what was right and wrong
uncomfortable emotions
moments later
and sudden fear,
heartbreak,
disbelief
all that blissful,
hopeful,
almost tangible
future may now only ever be the dream of my perfect past.
I've only ever loved once. I know that... now.
Why must I always learn my lessons after it is too late to put them to {good} use?
How can I be that person who gives up what they want most for what they want now?
Tears do me no good anymore.
Defensive and apologetic words can't dig me out.
No longer will it prove to live my life to please others.
I
must learn.
I must take the chance I've been given by my Savior and Redeemer and make, of what I have left,
a life worth bringing before Him in the end.
I've always felt a need and hunger for companionship. I've always wanted to share eternity with someone who loves me, cherishes me and wants me for their own.
I have forfeited my desires now.
You reap what you sow.
If I've lost what I had, what I wanted, then it has to be so.
I could never expect the bliss I dream of after the nightmare I created.
[Hurt]
I never knew it felt this way.
Jul 21, 2010
The one I love this way...
"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true.
I know a lot about love.
I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again.
But when I see the way that mankind loves…
You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.
So yes,
I know that love is unconditional.
But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, is… I think I love you.
Is this love? I never imagined I’d know it for myself.
My {heart}… It feels like my chest can barely contain it.
Like it’s trying to escape
because it doesn’t belong to me any more.
It belongs to you.
And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange – no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too.
Just your heart, in exchange for mine."
Yvaine--From the motion picture, "Stardust"
I know a lot about love.
I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again.
But when I see the way that mankind loves…
You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.
So yes,
I know that love is unconditional.
But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, is… I think I love you.
Is this love? I never imagined I’d know it for myself.
My {heart}… It feels like my chest can barely contain it.
Like it’s trying to escape
because it doesn’t belong to me any more.
It belongs to you.
And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange – no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too.
Just your heart, in exchange for mine."
Yvaine--From the motion picture, "Stardust"
~*~
Jul 20, 2010
My Rescue
Searching the soul is a task that takes patience and a desire to understand the things not understood. In searching my own soul after heartache brought about by my own transgression, I was led to the following scriptures that saved me at a particular time when I was struggling treading water.
Moroni 8:16
16 Wo be unto them that shall pervert the ways of the Lord after this manner, for they shall perish except they repent. Behold, I speak with boldness, having authority from God; and I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear.
D&C 95:1
1 Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you whom I love, and whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance in all things out of temptation, and I have loved you—
John 14:27
27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Numbers 14:18
18 The Lord is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression...
Mormon 9:27
27 O then despise not, and wonder not, but hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him.
Romans 8:35-39
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Isaiah 1:18
18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
The Lord sees us while we struggle and sends us what we need. It is real. It is true. There is always hope and an attainable salvation.
Others that brought me strength
D&C 19:16
16 For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;
Alma 42:22-24
22 But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God.
23 But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice.
24 For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved.
And to sum it all up, here is my prayer. No other words could capture what I wish from my heart. I'm grateful for the gospel and for the word of God that brings us enlightenment in times of darkness.
Psalms 51
1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity...
6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.
Moroni 8:16
16 Wo be unto them that shall pervert the ways of the Lord after this manner, for they shall perish except they repent. Behold, I speak with boldness, having authority from God; and I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear.
D&C 95:1
1 Verily, thus saith the Lord unto you whom I love, and whom I love I also chasten that their sins may be forgiven, for with the chastisement I prepare a way for their deliverance in all things out of temptation, and I have loved you—
John 14:27
27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Numbers 14:18
18 The Lord is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression...
Mormon 9:27
27 O then despise not, and wonder not, but hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him.
Romans 8:35-39
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Isaiah 1:18
18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
The Lord sees us while we struggle and sends us what we need. It is real. It is true. There is always hope and an attainable salvation.
Others that brought me strength
D&C 19:16
16 For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;
Alma 42:22-24
22 But there is a law given, and a punishment affixed, and a repentance granted; which repentance, mercy claimeth; otherwise, justice claimeth the creature and executeth the law, and the law inflicteth the punishment; if not so, the works of justice would be destroyed, and God would cease to be God.
23 But God ceaseth not to be God, and mercy claimeth the penitent, and mercy cometh because of the atonement; and the atonement bringeth to pass the resurrection of the dead; and the resurrection of the dead bringeth back men into the presence of God; and thus they are restored into his presence, to be judged according to their works, according to the law and justice.
24 For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved.
And to sum it all up, here is my prayer. No other words could capture what I wish from my heart. I'm grateful for the gospel and for the word of God that brings us enlightenment in times of darkness.
Psalms 51
1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity...
6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit:
a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.
Thought of the day
"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
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