Something strange
Did you know this would happen?
Somehow I think you did.
In a whisper...in a look...in a smile...
Caught up in what you are is where I suddenly find myself.
Standing in a crowd, loud and unsatisfying,
if I could only make myself reach for you,
would you take my hand and run?
Away from the crowd,
Away from the chaos
I don't know where we'd run
But does it really matter?
I may have to come back, but for now
can't we just run
just to see where we might find ourselves standing
Could be near,
could be far,
just so long as it could just be you and me...
at least for now.

Tonight was all about being conscious to the goings on in my brain; not letting them escape.
I drove and thought,
  then sat and thought,
    then wrote,
       then planned,
     then read
  then prayed
then thought.
 Interestingly enough
what I thought I was thinking, I'd already thought about,
so what I thought was this,
that I shouldn't think about what thoughts I'm thinking before I have a thought.
Perhaps that will un-fuzz some of me.

p.s. If something that you usually use to find things is lost, how do you find what you lost while looking?

~*~

I forget that I'm suppose to ask

my Father who's above,

What are the things I should be doing?

Who is it I should love?

So in my prayer I say this day,

I won't let logic rule

For faith is what I'm missing;

It's the crucial key and tool.

He told me I should listen.

He told me He would, too.

He whispers He is near me

When I don't know what to do

I find this harder than I thought

To simply trust that if I do,

Let Him be in charge and take control,

All works out how it's suppose to.

I should know

by now that He

Sees all of what

My life will be

How could I know

with my lack of understanding

That a world so vast

Could bring lessons so branding?

I long for experience

In work and deed

that will bring me the sight

That I will need

I believe my desire is righteous

To have someone to love

To start a life with another

And take into eternity above

So I have to have faith.

Faith that improving me

Will lead to claiming

All the things I want and see.

We'll find each other

and when we do

You'll have prayed for me

just as much as I've prayed for you.

~*~

i found a piece of it today;
my heart.
it came with a laugh that you put in the corners of my mouth.
with a smile that your random thoughts painted on my face.
i talked.
  you talked.
    we talked.
it felt like it used to,
in that space between reality and dreaming...
that's where we exist.
we created it.
we own it,
that space that no one else will ever touch.
no mind so brilliant can understand
what we have.
no creation could be quite so brilliant
as what we've put together.
no trial so dismal
could destroy,
nor tears rain too hard
to wash away
  what is real
    what is ours.


I think I'll just stay...

Even in sickness
I seek this day to create
somewhere
somehow
a small moment of bliss


Happiness
   is a choice
Bliss
   can be created
Hearts
   can be bandaged
Friends
   can comfort
Brothers
   can inspire
Dreams
   can become
Sisters
   don't have to be blood
Clouds
   can be shelter
Raindrops
   can be kisses
Laughter
   can heal
Smiles
   can prolong life
Singing
   can be relief
Prayer
  can help you discover it all

Most people choose the

[ latitude ]

of where they belong

[Clarity]

It's what you don't see as you're looking in the mirror these days.


You're lost and afraid
and you don't know what you want.
You know what you should DO,
but not what you want.


Please excuse my boldness
but I simply must express
that talking in past tense to me
about the life we've shared
only sours this lemon more.
I hate to bother you
as you're checking off the items on the lists you have made
but could you double check one item
because I think today is the day that you remember
you once weren't so lost.
You used to know where you were
...what you were
when you were in my arms.


I've tried reaching into every crevice
every hiding place
or dark corner
in my brain
to find the thoughts
that will help me not to feel hurt.
there is no such place.
no thought planted

giving root to create comfort
I sometimes
purposely sink
deep into thoughts untouched
to try and discover that space
where true love ends and true friendship begins
I'm not sure it exists.
.

To me, my surroundings feel of emptiness;
for, my future is so carefully
branded by you
that the sun light can not
burn off the haze
when you aren't standing in it.
Someday you may realize,

you are not lost
you are here.

I've already found you.
I didn't have to do the searching you now do,
because I never thought you lost.
I've already found you.
If your quest is to claim yourself,
your dignity
your love
your strength
your laughter
your secrets
your heart...
you will find them here.
If you find me,
you will find them.
If you choose to take them,
I will not stop you
If you choose to take them,
it may help you find that

[clarity]


But if you choose to take them
you may also lose me.